My Raisin

It is not the man who has little, but he who desires more, that is poor.
Seneca

Hope all the fathers out there had a wonderful Father’s Day. A shadow seemed to be cast over the day with the announcement of the death of Tim Russert. He was one of Jeff and mine’s favorite newspeople. If you have not read his book, Big Russ and Me, I would definitely recommend it. Jeff and I listened to the audio version of the book last year during one of our cemetery convention trips. It gave us a lot of conversation material on the long ride. Also, I always enjoyed listening to his political commentary spoken in language I could understand. It says a lot about a man when he is so warmly remembered and spoken of with such respect by all. He was never ashamed of his faith or his pride in his family and gave credit to them both. He never seemed the least embarrassed by where he came from, even when hobnobbing with presidents and popes. I guess that’s what impressed me most about him - his unabashed acknowledgement of being a working class, small town, Catholic and he never strayed far from his roots.
It made me think of my own upbringing and the way I perceived my childhood in comparison with similar families today. In the work I do now as a social worker, I often deal with families that are labeled by the system as underprivileged or poor. I try to give them tools to help themselves to take even the smallest steps to self-sufficiency. In our agency, my co-workers and I often need to encourage one another when dealing with a few people who do not seem to have the desire to change or to better themselves. It is sometimes hard to keep offering ways to acquire the skills needed for employment or budgeting money better, when what they really want is just someone to pay the electric bill for them this month and the telephone bill next month. Many families I encounter are truly down on their luck through no fault of their own or have encountered one too many difficult situations and want nothing more than the chance to get back on their feet. These families, who are often trying to overcome insurmountable odds, are an inspiration to me and are the reason I keep on doing what I do. But there is a minority who do not want to be bothered with any talk of self-improvement; they like the label of underprivileged and all the privileges it gives them! They are the ones who ask for Christmas assistance and when we deliver the presents that others had donated for them, we find a house filled with a big screen T.V.; a wall of videos, and mom texting on a blackberry! The kids rip open the presents and want to know why they didn’t get the Playstation or I-pod they wanted! We were discussing this the other day at work and talking about what is considered “poor” in our country now and comparing that with our own situations growing up. Some of my newer co-workers were surprised to find that I grew up in a household with no indoor plumbing or bathroom until I was almost a teenager. I laughed and told them, “Yeah, we were so poor, we didn’t even have an outhouse or toilet paper, we just used the “ditch” and leaves off the nearest tree”. In today’s society, we would certainly have qualified for food stamps or other government assistance. But the funny thing is – growing up, I never once thought of our family as being “poor”. And I can’t even say it was because everyone around us was in the same boat. In our farming community, most were; but there were many dads who worked at one of the new factories going up in our area who were able to afford luxuries that I knew our family never would. I just remember growing up in a large, loving family with plenty of delicious, country cooking and a ready-made playground on the farm. I knew my parents valued faith in God above all else. They also had a belief that hard work and a good education, along with respect for others, would bring their children a good and happy life. And believe it or not, I think that is pretty much what happened. “Pulling yourself up by your bootstraps” is not an expression much in vogue in America today. Many government assistance programs make it easier and more lucrative to stay “in the system”. I’m not sure what the answer to all this is; I know I just keep plugging away, trying to empower the ones who want to make it out and trying not to get discouraged by the ones who don’t. And every day, I thank God for my “raisin” and I hope, like Tim Russert, I never forget where I come from!